Fiction

Combining (Not Breaking) the News

In which I attempt to combine two different news articles into one coherent piece:

Article 1: Keystone Pipeline Fails to Get Through Senate
Article 2: Jerusalem synagogue attack: 'Lone wolf' pattern seen in deadly assault

Keystone Pipeline Fails Jerusalem Synagogue Attack
November 18, 2014, 7:15 PM ET
By Nobody

The controversial Keystone XL oil pipeline failed to win approval in the Senate tonight by one vote in the pious Har Nof neighborhood in the hills of West Jerusalem.

Two attackers brandishing weapons including a handgun and a meat cleaver burst into the synagogue early Tuesday, unclear whether the measure had support of 60 senators before the vote began.

The final vote was 59-41, killing four worshipers—three of them with American citizenship, including a prominent rabbi, and the fourth a British national.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu described the attackers as facing a tight December run-off race to maintain her Senate seat.

Last week, the House passed a Keystone bill proposed by international condemnation and threatened to further inflame Jewish-Muslim tensions, which were already running high over a contested holy site in Jerusalem.

President Obama condemned the assault, saying “XL stands for Xtra Lethal and misery follows the tar sands.”

The White House had not said whether it would veto the legislation if it had passed, but many Democratic senators believe the president will work cooperatively together to lower tensions, reject violence and seek a path forward towards peace.

The White House identified the slain Americans as not Harry Reid, not Mitch McConnell.